A hall pass, in a sexual context, refers to a partner receiving permission from their significant other to have sex with somebody else. People give their partners a hall pass for several reasons, including a lack of sexual desire for their partner but not wanting them to be sexless and allowing their partner to live out their fantasy for one night.
Before we explore this topic further, it’s important to understand two things: the reason you want a hall pass and its possible repercussions.
The reason you want a hall is important to know because it could impact your relationship after your night with the other person. If you’re unsatisfied with your partner and want to be with someone else, a hall pass is your scapegoat. It’s an opportunity to meet someone else and not a return ticket to fantasy land for a night. That’s not the point of a hall pass.
A hall pass is one night of no-strings-attached sex with someone other than your partner. Your intention should be to return to your partner the following day and carry on your relationship.
What about the possible consequences of a hall pass?
There are two sides to it: your and your partner’s feelings. The sex with the other person may satisfy you so much that you can’t resist returning to them later. Another possibility is that you might develop feelings for them.
Your partner may become jealous, even if it really was a one-night thing for you. He or she may wonder when you go out again that you’re with somebody else. Or they may think that the other person satisfied you more, and that may bother them. The third scenario is that they ask you for a hall pass because they deem it a fair exchange. Would you be okay with that?
Before taking a hall pass, you should discuss all the scenarios with your partner to avoid problems.
Now that we’ve discussed a few important aspects to accepting a hall pass, how do you get one? If you’re one of the lucky few who has a partner that offered a hall pass, we envy you. Well done. That’s not the case for most people wanting to venture out for a night.
Since you’re an adult, approach this situation like one. No magic scenario allows you to fly under the radar and snatch the hall pass from your partner’s hand without communication. To get the hall pass, you have to sit down with your partner and ask for it. It’s as simple as that, but you increase your chances of success by following a few simple guidelines.
Warm Your Partner Up
If you’ve never hinted to your partner that you want to have sex with somebody else, blurting out your hall pass request could shock them and scare them away. Ease into the topic before mentioning a hall pass by telling them that you’re not going to do it without their approval.
You might also mention that you two can completely forget about the topic if he or she is uncomfortable. Let your partner know that they are under no pressure to say yes.
After you’ve asked them for a hall pass, give them some time to absorb your request. That’ll allow you to judge their reaction and determine your next step. If they haven’t completely freaked out, tell them that they can take some time to think about it.
If they want to know more, your next step is…
Explain Why You Want to Do It
Assure your partner that you want to be with them and that it’s nothing they’ve done wrong. In most cases, you want to do it only to fulfil a fantasy. Whatever your reason, be upfront with them.
Your partner needs to know your motivations for doing this, and they might even want to know details. You may have had a crush on a neighbour, or you want to go to a club and bang a stranger. Be prepared to let them know the details. Hearing them may be your partner’s way of ensuring that it’s only for one night.
It’s also possible that they will allow you to do it but don’t want to know any details. In that case, you should keep the hall pass private and not tell your friends or anybody else about it. The last thing your partner wants is to find out the details from somebody else.
Let Them Set The Ground Rules
By allowing your partner to determine how to use the hall pass, you’ll make them feel in control. They’re more likely to gift you the hall pass if they’re setting the game rules. Tell them that they can change the rules at any time. That might upset you if it does happen, but they need to be comfortable with how everything happens.
If at the last minute, they move the goal post and you don’t comply, they may be uncomfortable and resent you. Remember that a hall pass is a one-night event and that you’ll still be in a relationship with that person afterwards.
They should be the ones to set the boundaries because they’re doing you a favour. Play by the rules to enjoy the game.
Play It Safe
Once you’ve received the hall pass, make sure that you get protection. You don’t want to pick up any diseases and possibly transmit them to your partner. The other safety issue is choosing the right person with who you’re going to spend the night.
The last thing you want is to be with someone who is or has a partner that’s going to cause problems in your relationship. The aim of a hall pass is for you to have safe fun for one night without burdening your partner.