Sex is a very intimate experience, and many people have inhibitions about expressing their desires. Some are even apprehensive about telling their partner what they would like to do in bed. It’s normal not to want to express your sexual desires because of fear of humiliation or possibly losing your partner.

Life is too short to hold back what you feel, and it can cause psychological issues. So, it’s best to express what you want. Who knows, maybe your partner withheld the same desire? To make it easier for you, I’ve included tips that should help you to express your sexual desires.

You’re Not Creepy For Having Fantasies

Almost everybody has sexual fantasies — it’s normal. You might think that yours are weirder than other people’s, but you’d be surprised as to what some have stored in their minds.

Your fantasies aren’t necessarily a reflection of who you are as a person. It could merely be an unconscious desire that you can’t control.

Most of the sexual fantasies we’re exposed to in the mainstream are moderate, and you might think that society deems anything out of those boundaries as taboo or unacceptable. No matter how wild you might think your desires are, there are people with wilder ones who have manifested them.

If you feel that your sexual desires are too wild and could result in illegal behaviour if manifested, you should consult a sex therapist or a professional. It’s possibly the curiosity to explore your fantasies that’s making you think about, and it doesn’t mean that you’re going to act on them.

Determine Your Goal

What is it that you want to accomplish with your fantasy? Before you speak to your partner about it, you need to understand the core reason for your fantasy. Do you want them to feel pleasure or yourself, or both? This is important to know because it will determine the conversation you’re going to have with them.

It might be that you want your partner to know you more intimately, so acting out your desires with them is your way of letting them be closer to you. Whatever the intention of your desires is, it’s important that you let your partner know. They may see that it’s more of an emotional quest for you rather than a physical act and will be more prone to indulge you in it.

If it’s purely the expression and the physicality that’s driving you, that’s a good enough reason as well. It’s perfectly fine to let your partner know that you might not know what to do with the fantasy. They might offer a solution.

Be Prepared For Any Reaction

Your intentions might be good, but nobody can guarantee you how your partner is going to react. They may freak out or think that it’s abnormal. Then again, they might grow to like it or love it right off the bat. You just don’t know. The only way to find out is by telling them after you know the reason you want to fulfil your desires.

No matter how they react, don’t be ashamed of what you feel. If they’re a good partner, they’ll understand that you have desires like everyone else, regardless of what they may feel about them.

You should be proud of putting yourself out there and showing your vulnerability. That’s something most people don’t have the courage to do.

Regardless of how your partner feels about your fantasy, you’ll feel better for sharing it with them. It’ll take a load off your chest and show you that it’s not as bad as you imagined it to be.

Relieve Your Partner Of Any Pressure

Just because you fantasise about certain sexual activities, it doesn’t mean that your partner is prepared to indulge you in them. Your partner might feel pressured to fulfil your fantasy because they have strong feelings for you, but you need to make them feel comfortable.

Allow them peace of mind to decide about indulging you in your fantasy by relieving them of any pressure to do it. That’ll take a load off them and may be the factor that influences them to go along with your plan. A person is more likely to consent to your fantasies if they see that your intentions are good and that you haven’t backed them into a corner.


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