If you’re married and your sex life isn’t what it used to be, you’re not the only one. It happens to lots of couples, even ones who are just in a relationship. Don’t fret because all is not lost. Keeping your sex life healthy requires you to do several basic things that will rekindle the flame and make the spark even brighter.

Communication is Key

Communication is vital to making any relationship work, whether you’re at home or work. You need to know how your partner is feeling, what they’re expecting and need you to do. They also need to know the same about you. The only way that’s going to happen is if you discuss what’s on your minds.

Tell your partner exactly what’s on your mind about sex or anything else for that matter. A healthy discussion brings two people together, so if you feel that the emotional and physical connection is lacking between you two, communication may penetrate that barrier and bring you together.

Feel free to tell your partner what you want to do to them in bed and how much you miss that thing you two used to do. If you feel that your partner hasn’t been meeting your needs, mention it as a suggestion for improvement, not a criticism. Nothing kills romance quicker than judging someone.

Have Fun Together

The way to desire each other again is by spending time together, having fun. There’s a reason you two fell for each other and most probably an activity you enjoyed doing together. Whether it was binge-watching, travelling or sitting on a park bench and talking, you and your partner enjoyed a mutual activity.

Get back to that activity by scheduling a date. Couples grow apart usually because they’re bored with each other, so it’s time to remember why you fell for each other by having fun. You can also opt for a dinner date, followed by flowers and chocolate. It’s one way to make a woman feel special and to take her back to the days when you two first met.

Whatever you decide to do, make sure that it’s something extremely fun and will bring you two closer. Riding a dual bike is an example of teamwork and while you’re at it, don’t forget to compliment each other. It’s highly likely that you haven’t done that in a while.

Make a Plan

Life may get in the way of you two not being intimate anymore. It’s sometimes not a lack of desire, but it could be work, kids and several other factors. The only way to get around that is by scheduling a date to have sex and sticking to it. Scheduling sex might not seem appealing because spontaneity is exciting, but it’s one way to solidify intimacy.

It can also work well if the attraction between you two is lacking. Sometimes it’s just best to be close to each other, even if you’re not in the mood. You may find that it reignites the passion that you two had for each other.


Your partner is not the only person responsible for romance in your marriage. It’s good to take the lead, especially if you’re male. Even better if you’re female because your man might be tired of always being the one who initiates. Grabbing your partner’s hand and escorting them to the bedroom unexpectedly adds the spontaneity factor into the relationship, and that’s hot.

If you feel that sex may be too far of a step to take after not being intimate in a long time, you can start by massaging, kissing and telling your partner how wonderful they are.

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