Let’s face it, most of us have thought about having a threesome whether we were single or in a relationship. It’s something new, fun, exciting and so hot. Having a threesome poses several challenges, especially if you’re in a relationship. Your partner might not be up for it, and you can even risk losing your relationship. How to suggest a threesome without putting off your partner requires you to do several key things.
Sass out the situation
If you know that your partner is interested in a threesome, great. If not, you need to make sure that you two are on the same page. Asking them how they feel about it is the easiest and most efficient way. You can phrase it as a general question if you’re trying to tread carefully. It’s important to bring up the topic as opposed to telling them. “Have you ever thought of having one?” is a neutral question that won’t raise too many red flags.
Otherwise, you can be indirect by showing them a threesome porn video and asking them what they think of it. You can “accidentally” stumble upon a picture of it in a magazine or your computer and determine their reaction. Once you’ve determined that they are open to it or don’t find it disgusting, you should…
Don’t phrase it as ‘spicing up the relationship’
Doing that is admitting that the spark in your relationship has fizzled and that you need somebody else to get you excited. That’s not exactly what your partner wants to hear. Your partner wants to feel special, even when they know that the sex is no longer mind-shattering.
Instead, try to phrase it as something that will add a new dynamic to the relationship. Make sure to come across as if it’s something that spontaneously popped into your head and not a concrete event, which will make your partner feel a lot of pressure and could possibly deter them from doing it.
Make your partner feel like the special one
You might be excited because another person is coming in for one night of fun, but that doesn’t mean that you should make the event about them. It should be about your partner, and you should let them know that. When bringing up a threesome, you should phrase it in a way that suggests the intimacy will be mostly about pleasuring your partner.
You can suggest that the third person is there to help you pleasure your partner. That’s a promise you’ve made and one that you should keep. Your partner shouldn’t feel that you tricked them into a threesome by only pleasuring yourself. After the threesome, take your partner out to do something fun as a way to thank them and to further show that the threesome was more about them than you.
Let your partner be the leader
This point goes hand-in-hand about making your partner feel special. By making them the leader, you’re letting them know that they will be in charge of the intimacy. That means allowing them to choose the partner, place and boundaries.
It’s important to make your partner comfortable about the situation, and they are more likely to feel so if they are completely in control. Let your partner know that they can change their mind about going through with it at any time and that you won’t be upset. This will take a lot of pressure off them.
Take your time
Depending on your partner, you may want to bring up the entire discussion in one sitting or over time. As an example, you could ask them their opinion about threesomes, then later discuss the points mentioned. Planting a seed and letting it blossom could be a wise strategy.
The point is that you shouldn’t overwhelm your partner with the entire process, especially if they are shocked that you even asked them for their opinion. When you make it seem like it’s not a concrete event, you show your partner that it’s not important if it doesn’t happen. Give them time to understand where you’re coming from, and they might surprise you.