Today is my 39th birthday. Yay. One year away from the big 4-0. I’ve made a lot of stupid mistakes in my life. And the story I’m about to tell you may seem like a mistake, but it was more of a lesson.
In 2016, I was in a relationship with a girl. We had met about two months before my birthday. Everything seemed to be going well. She told me that she was a virgin and that I would be her first. I’m not sure how true that was, but I think she was honest. She was also bisexual and told me that she wanted me with another woman.
I was like, “Hell, yeah.”
But before that, she wanted me to break her virginity so that our future experiences would be more pleasant and intimate.
She got her hair done and bought a new dress for my birthday. We went out to a restaurant and had fun. During dinner, her friend called. My girl told her it was my birthday, and I overheard her say, “Birthday sex.” My girl kept quiet and smiled. I knew it was happening.
On the way to my place, we passed a petrol station. She said, “Aren’t you stopping?” I knew she was referring to me buying condoms. I had one in my wallet, but I later realised that she wanted a few rounds.
At my place, we walked into my bedroom. I needed the bathroom.
When I stepped out of the bathroom, she was lying naked on my bed. I thought, Wow, she got undressed really quickly. Seeing her on my bed, ready to get banged, turned me on. I was eager to give it to her.
While I got undressed, she just laid on my bed. I thought that I’d get a blow job, but I didn’t.
To get aroused, I grabbed her perfectly round tits. Man, they were nice. But I had tasted them before several times, so the tits, alone, weren’t enough to make me really hard.
I grabbed her legs, hoping that I would get turned on. But not much. Absolutely nothing was happening downstairs with me. I was slightly hard, but nowhere near my peak, and I wanted to be rock hard so that we could have the time of our lives.
I should’ve told her to give me a blowjob. That definitely would’ve made me hard because it had before, with her plump lips. Blowjobs from her were great. It was stupid of me not to ask her for one.
A few minutes later, after touching her body, I still wasn’t hard. I kinda lost the desire to even continue the intimacy. I could’ve lay on top of her and kissed her. My chest pressed against hers and our lips infused would’ve stimulated something inside me. But I didn’t do it. Stupid, I know.
I continued touching her and then stopped, having no desire to have sex with her. I lay beside her and fell asleep. That could’ve been one of the best birthdays, but I messed up. Or so I thought. I kinda did, but I also realised that I wasn’t that attracted to her.
That’s not the first time that’s happened to me. I have gotten into relationships with several girls when I was going through a dry spell. They came along and seemed compatible, but I quickly got used to them and realised that they weren’t what I really wanted.
I figured that since they were the only option at the time, being with them was better than nothing. I’ve learnt not to fall prey to that mindset anymore. In the long run, it creates more pain than it provides satisfaction.
As for the girl, she’s now an ex. Obviously. No woman wants to be with a man who doesn’t want to have sex with her.
At the age of 39, I’ve learnt quite a bit about myself. I’ve realised that I’m sometimes my worst enemy. But those experiences have helped me to become my best friend. I’ve matured a lot in the last 10 years but still have plenty of growing up to do.
Here’s to another, at least, 39 years of mistakes, experiences, lessons and everything that comes along with this thing called life.
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