Most of us have been through dry spells, and during those times, we’ll take anyone that’s decent. They’re not your first choice, and there are numerous flaws you overlooked just to be with them. Maybe you spent only one night with them. And that’s okay.
But the problem crops up when you decide to settle for someone who’s not your first choice in a relationship. I’m not referring to your first choice being a celebrity crush or someone that doesn’t realistically exist. I’m talking about that person you feel is out of your reach.
Being with someone who isn’t your first choice makes you feel you’re missing out on better potential partners.
There is no such thing as a person being out of your reach. On numerous occasions, I’ve looked at a woman I thought would never be interested in me because I focused on my insecurities. And I thought she saw them and wouldn’t find me attractive.
But I always decide to find out, despite the negative voice in my head telling me not to do it. I approach her, and I’m surprised numerous times to discover that I stand a chance with her. Even when I got rejected, I was proud of myself for going after the woman I want.
To feel you deserve the person you want, you’ll have to work on yourself. That means improving your physique, being more social and bettering your finances. Focusing on those three areas of your life will boost your confidence.
Go after the person you want. It would be great if they are receptive and something develops from it. If not, you’ll feel empowered for going after what you truly want. You’ll feel a sense of freedom that most people never will because they’re holding themselves back. They’re actually practising the highest form of self-sabotage.
By going after the person you really want, even if you feel you don’t deserve them, you train yourself to go after the things you desire. You’re silencing that negative voice that’s telling you that you don’t deserve what you want. You build confidence and pride, which makes you more attractive. And you realise that the women you put on pedestals are just normal human beings and most are extremely friendly and down to earth.
Had I not gone after the women I wanted, I wouldn’t have had the experiences I did. I’m fortunate to have been with some really amazing women, some of whom I thought were out of my league. But once I attracted them, I saw that they were on my level.
It’s okay to feel nervous when you think about going up to that person. Feeling fear is normal. Just don’t let it stop you. Do it in spite of the feeling. Go against the fear and say to the person you want, “Hi. You walked past and didn’t greet me.” When they frown and say, “But I don’t know you.” Extend your hand and say, “Hi, I’m Goran. Nice to meet you.” Remember to smile.
Imagine you end up with that person. Just think how great you’ll feel for chasing the person you really want. It’s like giving yourself permission to live the life you desire. That’s something most people never do because they don’t believe in themselves. Believe in yourself and that you deserve what you want. But also make sure to work on yourself so that you get it.
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