The worst day of the week was Friday night. Several beautiful women walked past me on my way to work, and my desire to approach them surrendered to my anxiety. The excuses I concocted not to talk to them would baffle a madman.
My heart gnawed at me, pleading with me to redeem myself by speaking to the next woman, yet I’d disappoint it every time.
By the time I reached the office, my emotional fatigue encouraged me to return immediately to the street to fend off guilt. But it fostered inside of me, killing my desire to work.
Throughout the rest of the day, I’d beat myself up for caving to pressure. The mere thought of starting a conversation with a beautiful woman parched my mouth and moistened my palms. I pictured myself fumbling my words, eventually stuttering until my cheeks reddened.
I couldn’t bear that embarrassment. Guilt was a lenient sentence.
Not finding a date throughout the week forced me to go out on Friday night. I used to spend that time watching movies, but I couldn’t enjoy them because I knew subconsciously that I sought refuge at home from stepping outside my comfort zone.
Outings, even if spent by myself, subdued my guilt. My usual spot was the roof patio of a luxury hotel. A female DJ spun progressive house tunes as the dimmed lights accentuated the candles on the tables.
Women in their late twenties and early thirties congested the bar, surrounded by men holding drinks while ogling them. I leaned against the railing, admiring the illuminated skyscrapers. I occasionally scanned the patio for a beautiful woman.
Three women waltzed in, the middle one grabbing my attention. Her well-endowed chest bulged from the skimpy tank top, and the slit in her dress exposed her entire leg. The men around her shared my vision.
They sat at a high table, leaning into each other as they giggled. Fear surged from my stomach to my throat, developing a lump in my throat. I swallowed it, but it expanded, limiting oxygen from entering my chest. My heartbeat sped up, and my shoulders stiffened.
My chest expanded and contracted rapidly as I tried to control my nerves. This was the one time that my mind and heart agreed about acting on my desire. But thinking about matching their energy to avoid awkwardness made me reconsider engaging them.
I looked over the railing, watching cars drive past, feeling it was symbolic of my romantic life. My fear paralysed me, allowing my life to pass me by and depriving me of the things I wanted.
Thinking about all the missed opportunities, I scolded myself for allowing my mind to talk me out of doing what I wanted. I committed to approaching the busty babe, come hell or high water. But I needed the perfect moment. I wasn’t certain when it would avail itself, but I waited for it.
My anxiety exacerbated as time passed. I knew that the chances of talking myself out of going to her increased with each moment. But I gave myself credit for not leaving.
Her two friends stood up and walked away. I presumed they went to the bathroom. My perfect moment had arrived.
I dug deep into my chest, pulling in oxygen. I stepped towards her, eyes looking straight ahead, not daring to dart.
The staff marched behind her, holding sparklers above their heads while singing. She snatched her phone off the table and recorded them.
“What’s going on here?” I asked, referring to the show.
Smiling, she said, “I don’t know, but it looks great.”
“You gonna put that on your Instagram?”
“I might.”
We smiled at each other, helping to subdue my nerves.
“I’m Ethan.”
“Grace. It’s nice to meet you, Ethan.”
I loved hearing her say my name.
Her name didn’t match her appearance, but she seemed friendly. She asked a lot of questions about me, making me believe that she was interested in getting to know me. I piqued at her chest when she looked away.
Thinking about her naked made me hard. I struggled to focus on her words as my mind played images of us in doggystyle, the shower, the bed and the balcony. I wanted to stick my dick into her every hole and bang her until she passed out.
She was stunning, and her friendliness made her more attractive. Although a bombshell, she was down-to-earth. I didn’t like that she smoked, but nobody’s perfect.
The waiter interrupted us. He asked for her drink order and then mine. While I spoke to the waiter, I saw in my peripheral vision that Grace looked at me.
As the waiter walked away, I looked at Grace and smiled. She reciprocated, and I held eye contact for several seconds to appear confident. I couldn’t believe that I had broken out of my shell and interacted with a beautiful woman like I was experienced.
Negative thoughts popped into my mind, attempting to convince me that I wasn’t good enough for her. I ignored them and continued speaking to her.
Our conversation lasted for several minutes before her friends returned to the table. She introduced me to them, and they told me that they were lawyers. I never would’ve guessed. Most lawyers were stern, but they were extremely friendly.
My confidence dipped as I thought about entertaining three women. I didn’t want to linger around them, inserting comments in between their chatter. I wanted to leave on a high note, so I shook hands with Grace, told her friends that it was a pleasure to meet them, and then I asked Grace for her number.
She smiled while inputting it into my phone.
I walked away, my back straightened and my shoulders broad, trying to appear confident. But my excitement begged me to throw my hands above my head and scream, “Yooohooo.” A victory dance seemed apt, but I had to maintain my composure.
In the car, I looked in the rear-view mirror and smiled. A part of me felt sad because I thought about all the opportunities I had missed.
On the way home, my mind replayed the interaction with Grace. I recalled her facial expressions, movements and her gaze. I felt like an imposter because I exuded confidence that I didn’t think I had.
Her acceptance of my advances boosted my confidence, which would strengthen through positive interactions with beautiful women. Although I was ecstatic about meeting Grace, I knew that a woman’s feelings change abruptly. If she rejected my proposal of going out, the high ride I relished in would crash me to the ground. I couldn’t let her have power over me, so I knew that it was crucial for me to keep up the momentum by approaching other women.
Instead of going home, I opted for a hippie bar in a dilapidated neighbourhood. A colleague mentioned frequenting the joint and claimed that he got lucky several times because the women were extremely open-minded.
As I stepped in, I reminded myself to smile. Walking alone into a social environment summoned my nerves, which tensed my jaw and stiffened my shoulders. Rastafarian music blared from the speakers as a circle of women in calf-length dresses raised their chins and kept their eyes closed as they whiffed the marijuana smoke floating above the cramped venue.
At the bar, I ordered a virgin Mojito. I turned to the dancefloor and saw a curly brunette smiling at me. I checked over my shoulder to ensure that she wasn’t looking at the barman. Her broad, sparkly eyes hinted that she had inhaled a few puffs.
The people in between us scuffled to the side, clearing the path. I knew that was my moment. The longer I thought about approaching her, the more time I gave my mind a chance to talk me out of it. The one who hesitates, masturbates.
I downed the remainder of the cocktail, swallowed and stepped away from the bar. Her smile drew me in, settling my nerves the closer I got to her. As my anxiety dwindled, I looked forward to engaging her.
Standing close to her, I smiled. She leaned in, grabbed my wrists and pulled me closer to her, our faces mere centimetres apart. She turned her back to me and swayed left to right as her bum brushed my crotch, making me hard.
I shifted closer to her, pressing my hard tip into her ass. She leaned her head on my chest and raised her chin. With my arms across her abdomen, I nudged my boner to poke her. She reached for my face over her shoulder, and I lowered my head as my cheeks pressed against hers, staring down her top.
My boner hardened as I thought about licking her breasts uncontrollably and then lowering my lips to her pussy. She turned to face me, and we stared at each other. I knew that she wanted me to escalate the physicality.
With my hand on her lower back, I pulled her into me, her groin pressed against my crotch. She closed her eyes and tilted her head back. I pressed my lips against hers and slid my tongue into her mouth. With her left hand on my shoulder, her fingers raked through the back of my head.
Our tongues swirled against each other, and my lust intensified, demanding to be unleashed. As the kiss heated up, I knew I had to move her to another location to avoid dropping my pants on the spot. The degree of horniness that surged throughout my body made me feel no shame about exposing myself to release my desire.
Our lips parted as I pulled back. She frowned and then opened her eyes.
“Let’s go somewhere,” I said.
She smiled. I grabbed her hand and escorted her outside the club. Looking at the parking lot, I carried on walking in silence. Words could ruin the moment and stop us dead in our tracks, while lust fueled us towards the place where we could seek pleasure.
I opened the passenger door, and she stepped inside my car. After fastening my seatbelt, I pulled off as I looked at the road.
I knew that one wrong word could ruin everything. There was no need to talk, only an obligation to free our desires to roam all over each others’ bodies.
At the traffic light, we waited in silence. Although my place was a few kilometres away, the journey dragged on because she could tell me to stop at any moment. To minimise the risk of that, I stepped on the gas, but I was wary of not exceeding the speed limit. Nothing softens a boner faster than a policeman handing you a ticket.
As we approached my home, I felt the need to say something. But what? I didn’t even know her name, not that it mattered to either of us. I reminded myself that talking could be disastrous, so I kept quiet.
In front of my house, I walked around the car and opened the door for her. She smiled and got out.
Inside my house, I offered her a drink, and she smiled and shook her head. I couldn’t believe that she hadn’t said a word to me since our embrace. Maybe it wasn’t necessary. Or, she felt that she would turn me off by speaking. If that was the case, I appreciated her consideration.
I moved towards her slowly, and her smile sucked me in again. While we kissed, I peeled off my jacket and let it fall off me. She unbuttoned my shirt hastily, and my chest expanded as oxygen dug deep into my chest, fuelling my lust to the point of explosion. I was ready to burst inside her, or, maybe, on her face. Even her back would’ve been fine.
She dropped to her knees and unfastened my belt while looking at me. With one swipe, she unzipped my pants and pulled them down. She tugged on my jocks, pulling them down to my ankles. My boner popped out, and she grabbed it and put it in her mouth.
Her lips covered my tip, and she licked in a circular motion. I sneered at her, pleased that she was skanky—just what I needed. My night started well, and it improved significantly. I guess it was true that one success builds on top of another. Although Grace was hotter than this woman, she wasn’t even on my mind as the stranger sucked my dick phenomenally well.
At one point, I considered a relationship with her so she could pleasure me beyond tonight. I couldn’t believe I thought about a whore in that way. At least, that’s how I viewed her. She needed sex like everyone else. I couldn’t fault her for that. Maybe that was her first one-night stand.
After sucking my dick for several minutes, she bent over the dining table and pulled up her dress. Strangely, that turned me on more than if she had dropped it to the floor.
I pulled her hair into a ponytail and then yanked it. Her head snapped up, and I thrust. A loud gasp shot out of her mouth as I rammed her aggressively. I maintained that pace for some time, enjoying listening to her satisfaction.
She pressed her chin on the table and looked at the wall as she told me that she enjoyed me inside of her. I spanked her ass and increased the pace. That was the sexiest thing she could’ve said to me. I wanted to bust at that moment, but I would’ve robbed us of more pleasure.
Running my hands over her smooth back showed me that she took care of her skin, and her thick hair was accustomed to daily showers and top-of-the-range products. Her tight body was the product of a strict workout regimen.
Her sexual experience was evident, making me hesitant about pursuing her after our night together. Maybe we could satisfy each other again, but a relationship with a whore was risky.
I loved touching her and bouncing off her ass. She looked amazing bending over, but I also wanted to look at her face.
“Lie on your back,” I said.
She hopped onto the table and lay on her back, spreading her legs wide apart. I grabbed her thighs and inserted my dick. She moaned, her face scrunching as my dick slid deeper into her pussy.
I stared at her while her eyes remained shut. Her beauty became more evident the longer I looked at her. The venue where we met played a big role in determining how I viewed her. Had it been a fancy ball, I would’ve thought she was out of my league. Seeing her at that club didn’t dissuade me from meeting her.
My infatuation with her overpowered me, making me lose control. I twitched as my load spilt into her pussy. As my semen continued to flow, I groaned, feeling a powerful orgasm sending me on a high.
I felt like every drop of cum had shot out of my balls, needing two days to replenish. My depleted ball sack made me sleepy, but I thought that dozing off without saying anything to my guest would’ve been rude.
“Would you like to spend the night?” I asked.
“Sure. I can stay over.”
We went to the bedroom, and she turned her back to me in bed. I shifted closer to her and pressed my lips on her soft shoulder. Our fingers intertwined, and I closed my eyes. That was the last thing I remembered from that night.
In the morning, I woke up without the stranger next to me. I felt weird about not knowing her name. Asking her would be awkward, but I had to know who she was. The only problem was that she was gone.
I walked down the hallway. The smoky aroma of bacon drifted into my nose, and its sizzling reached my ears as I approached the kitchen.
My eyes widened as I saw my bed partner scraping bacon off the pan and sliding it onto a plate.
She turned around, smiled and said, “Good morning. Hope I didn’t wake you.”
I smiled and remained silent, uncertain of how to respond. I couldn’t believe that my one-night stand had prepared breakfast for me and was concerned about interrupting my sleep.
“Not at all. I thought you had left.”
She frowned. “No, that would be rude. Why? Did you want me to leave?”
“No, no, no. That’s not what I meant. You weren’t in bed this morning, so I thought you snuck out.”
She shook her head, smiling.
We sat at the table, and I told her to dish up first because she was my guest.
“Hmmm, this is delicious,” I said.
“You can’t go wrong with scrambled eggs, bacon and mushrooms.”
While chewing, I thought about asking her name. Although it was awkward, I had to do it.
“I’m sorry. I know this is going to sound strange, but we never formally met.”
She smiled, suppressing her lips to avoid revealing the food in her mouth. She swallowed it and said, “I’m Lisa.”
“That’s a nice name. I like it.”
I cut another slice of the bacon and brought it to my mouth as she said, “I never got your name either.”
“Ethan.”
She nodded. “Yeah, I can see that.”
I smiled. “What do you mean?”
“You look like an Ethan. The frizzy brown hair, the goatee and the glasses. That’s how an Ethan would look.”
I smiled and lowered my gaze to the plate. Her statement made me feel that I needed to read between the lines to spot the compliment in her words.
“What do you do for a living?” I asked.
“I’m an architect.”
My eyebrows raised. Wow, I didn’t picture her in that profession. She seemed more like a pilates instructor or a vegan dietician.
She saw the shock on my face and asked, “You?”
“Real estate. I sell upmarket houses and apartments.”
“Awesome. This is a nice place you got.”
“Thank you. I saved up for years.”
“You paid cash?”
“I did. I don’t believe in debt. If you financed it, you don’t own it.”
“Do you advise all your clients to pay cash?”
“I cater to the upper middle-class and wealthy individuals, so most don’t even ask for my financial advice. But the ones who do, I tell them what I just told you.”
Lisa smiled and nodded. Her pleasant energy made me believe that she focused on a person’s positive traits and neglected judgment. She reminded me of Grace. Both were sexy and friendly. Having a threesome with them would propel me to Casanova-level charm.
Thank God I decided to stop by the hippie club instead of going home. If Grace doesn’t answer my call, I’m certain that Lisa will see me again.
“What do you like to do for fun?” asked Lisa.
I couldn’t recall the last time anyone asked me that.
I stared at her, smiling, for several seconds and then answered, “Meet amazing people like you.”
Her smile broadened, and she nodded. “That’s a good answer. Really good answer.”
“I’m serious. I don’t say stuff to get into people’s good graces. I mean what I say. You’re a special person, Lisa.”
“Thank you. I appreciate that, Ethan. Since we’re professing our feelings, I feel the need to explain myself.”
“About?”
“Last night. I’m not the one-night stand type. Really, I’m not. You’re the first.”
I wanted to believe her, but my gut told me to be wary. After all, I found out her name only a few minutes ago.
She added, “I know it’s hard to believe, but I was out celebrating last night, so I was in a good mood. And then when I saw you, we had an instant connection. I was so drawn to you that I couldn’t help myself, and I just went with the moment. Is that so wrong?
“No. I know what you mean. I was there.”
We chuckled.
I added, “What were you celebrating?”
“I completed a big project, and the client was thrilled with the final product. My manager nominated me for employee of the year. If I win, I’ll be promoted to head architect, receive a generous bonus and be more selective about the projects I want to do.”
“Awesome. You should be proud of yourself.”
“You sound just like my mom.”
“Mom’s right.”
She narrowed her eyes and said, “I’ve got a feeling that you and her would get on like a house on fire.”
“Does she cook as well as you?”
“I learnt from her.”
“Then when do I get to meet her?”
“I’m going to her place later today. You’re welcome to tag along.”
“Sounds good.”
After breakfast, Lisa needed to clean her place before I picked her up. I mopped around the house, deciding if I should call Grace. Although it sounded ridiculous in my head, I felt that contacting her would be cheating on Lisa. But we weren’t an item. We only spent one night together. Yet, I thought I could lose her if I pursued Grace.
On the other hand, if I didn’t call Grace and Lisa ghosted me in the coming week, I would lose both of them.
My heartbeat bashed against my chest as Grace’s phone rang. I felt the superficial wall of confidence crumble, exposing me naked. If I spoke, I was certain that I would fumble my words. Perhaps my dry mouth could only wheeze out words. Sweat beads formed on my forehead, and I grunted, swallowing the lump in my throat.
Grace didn’t answer. Thank God. She would’ve discovered that I was a complete imposter last night. Although I felt relieved about maintaining my alias, I was disheartened about not speaking to Grace. What if she doesn’t call back? Should I call again? Oh, God. I just remembered: She doesn’t know my number, so she probably doesn’t answer unidentified numbers.
I smacked my forehead and closed my eyes. What should I do? I figured that the best solution was to wait for Grace to return my call. But how long should I wait? An hour? A few hours? Oh, God. I palmed my face and shook my head, feeling an incoming panic attack because of my dilemma.
A few minutes later, I checked my phone to see if I hadn’t missed a call. How could I? It was only a few centimetres away from me. I would’ve heard it ring. Okay, maybe I put it on silent by mistake. No such luck.
Half an hour had passed since Grace hadn’t answered, and I couldn’t stop thinking about it. The different locations and activities that she could have engaged in tossed around in my head. Whatever reason I came up with, I knew I lied to myself. Most women are glued to their phones. I doubted that she hadn’t seen my call.
Perhaps she couldn’t answer her phone and planned to do it later. But when? How much more anguish would I need to endure until she called? I thought loneliness was bad. Attracting a woman, being excited about seeing her again and then calling to set up a date and not getting a response was much worse. That was the reason I hadn’t dated before. Ugh, who was I kidding? I didn’t date because I was a pussy to approach a beautiful woman.
My head perked up as my phone beeped. Thank God—a message from Grace, surely? It was Lisa. She texted to confirm that I was coming. I exhaled, feeling despondent about hearing from Grace. It seemed over between us before it even began.
After I confirmed with Lisa, I slumped onto my couch and looked at the ceiling. Receiving a text from a beautiful woman should’ve been the highlight of my day. Instead, it was overshadowed by my desire to go out with Grace.
As I thought about my feelings, I realised that I was an ungrateful prick. On any other day, I would’ve leapt out of the couch and jumped with my hands above my head, thrilled about a date with a stunning woman. But I got too big-headed. In one day, I went from shivering in my boots just by the thought of approaching a woman to feeling that I deserved two stunners at the same time. That would’ve been great, but one was good enough. In fact, it was life-changing.
I stood up and thanked God for my blessings. He certainly was generous, and he gifted me with an angel.
I rang Lisa’s doorbell. She opened it and smiled, seeing the bouquet of roses and a basket.
“What’s all this?” she asked.
“A gift for you.”
“Oh, my. You shouldn’t have.”
She was worthy of a more expensive gift. I admired her as she took the basket and looked inside it. How did I get so lucky?
On the way to her mother’s place, Lisa kept her body turned towards me as she spoke excitedly about introducing me to her mother. I realised that a woman, usually, introduces a man to her mother if she sees a future with him.
We stopped at a traffic light. I looked at her, and she smiled at me, her eyes and teeth sparkling. I struggled to comprehend that I had met her the night before, and we had built a connection after a few hours. Everything had developed quickly. A bit too quickly. Is she too good to be true? If she were, I knew the inevitable conclusion. Despite the caveat, I remained optimistic.
After we got out of the car, Lisa stuck out her hand. I intertwined my fingers with hers, and we walked inside. She embraced her mother and told her that she missed her. Her mother cupped Lisa’s face and kissed her forehead.
She looked at me and said, “You must be Ethan.”
“Hi. It’s nice to meet you.”
“I’m Evelyn.” She looked at Lisa and said, “He’s out of your league, sweetheart.”
Lisa smiled, shaking her head. “Don’t mind my mom. She enjoys putting me down.”
“Oh, come now, my angel. What’s life without some fun? Isn’t that right, Ethan?”
“Agreed.”
“See? Ethan gave me permission to make fun of you.” Evelyn nudged me with her elbow.
Evelyn hooked her arm with mine and said, “Come, kids. I’ve made us delicious food.”
At the dining table, Evelyn said, “Lisa’s told me quite a bit about you. I must say I am completely dismayed by what I’ve heard.”
I frowned, confused. What damning report about me did Lisa pass on to her mother? How bad could it be, considering that Lisa knows little about me?
My eyes locked with Evelyn’s. I wanted to know what she was referring to. She cracked a smile, and I looked at Lisa, seeing her smile.
“I told you not to take Mom seriously. And just so you know, I barely told her anything about you.”
“That’s because you barely know him,” said Evelyn.
Lisa leaned in slightly, widened her eyes and said, “Mom!”
“What? It’s the truth.”
“Your mom’s right, Lisa.”
“Of course, I am. Moms know best. I must tell you, Ethan, my daughter’s never been this hung up on anyone before.”
“Mom.”
I smiled, amused by Evelyn’s candour and delighted by what she said.
“Oh, come now. Ethan’s no dummy. He knows that daughters don’t bring home any guy to meet their mothers. Isn’t that right, Ethan?”
I smiled at Evelyn and then looked at Lisa to gauge her reaction. “That’s right, Evelyn?”
“You must be quite the catch, Ethan, since my daughter’s this smitten after knowing you for a short period of time.”
“I’m actually shy. Usually keep to myself and avoid mingling with others. But your daughter caught my eye, and I couldn’t stop looking at her. Her energy drew me in and made me so intrigued about her. I didn’t know what it was about her, but I knew she was special.”
“Awww. Did you hear that, sweety? You helped Ethan break out of his shell.”
Lisa and I kept looking at each other, smiling. Words weren’t necessary for us to get to know each other. Spending time together was enough.
“Lisa told me that you’re in the real estate business.”
I dabbed my napkin on my lips and said, “That’s right. Been doing it for about ten years now. The industry’s been good to me.”
“My girl is an architect. You two could collaborate and sell houses. She draws, a crew builds and you sell them.”
“That’s not a bad idea. I think you might be onto something,” I said.
“Absolutely. Use each other for other things besides affection. There’s plenty of resources you can extract from each other. Why not? Isn’t that the whole point of being with somebody?”
Evelyn was cheeky, but she was wise. I wondered about her marriage, prompting me to think about her husband. I wanted to ask about him, but I figured it was inappropriate. If they wanted to mention him, they would bring up the topic.
My phone beeped. Who could that be?
Lisa and Evelyn looked at me, their expressions suggesting they didn’t mind if I attended to the message. “It’s fine. I’ll check it later.”
After lunch, we sat on the couch and spoke about Lisa’s family and mine. Lisa said that her mom had nagged her for several years to get married before her biological clock runs out.
“Do you want a wife and kids, Ethan?” asked Evelyn.
“I do. That would be great.”
“Well, there’s nothing wrong with my Lisa.”
I snorted a laugh and nodded. “No, there isn’t. We just met, so we’ll need more time to get to know each other.”
“I agree. The only thing I’ll ask of you is not to waste my daughter’s time. If she’s not for you, fine, but please, don’t lead her on. Her heart is fragile, and she deserves someone who’ll cherish her.
“Absolutely.”
I thanked Evelyn for a delicious lunch and then took Lisa home.
After I dropped her off, I remembered the message I had received. I checked my phone, and I smiled broadly, seeing it was from Grace. She apologised for not being able to answer and said that we should meet up.
Technically, I was single, so I could date multiple women at once.
I replied to Grace, telling her that we could meet on Sunday afternoon. She replied immediately with a smiley face. I decided to call her the following morning to confirm a time.
We arranged for a stroll along the boulevard at two o’clock. She smiled as I approached her, standing in front of a jewellery store. We hugged.
“You look beautiful,” I said.
“Thank you.”
“Hope you didn’t wait long?”
“Not at all. Just got here, and I’ve been doing some window shopping,” she said, turning to the diamond display behind her. “They’ve got some fantastic pieces.”
“It looks nice. Shall we?”
Grace smiled. We strolled for about one block before passing a coffee shop.
“You wanna get coffee on the go, and we can continue to walk?”
“Sounds good.”
I dominated the conversation, and Grace maintained eye contact and a smile. I paused several times to give her a chance to speak, but she kept looking at me. That convinced me she wanted me to carry the conversation.
We walked for about twenty minutes before I heard, “Ethan.”
Grace and I stopped walking. I looked straight ahead and saw Lisa and Evelyn. Their stares revealed their thoughts. I had no idea how to dig myself out of that hole. Lying wasn’t an option. It would make matters only worse. Regardless of my explanation, I felt that the possibility of developing a relationship with Lisa had diminished.
TO BE CONTINUED…