I down another shot of tequila. I think that was the fifth one. Maybe sixth. I’m not sure. Who cares? It’s not like anyone at home is going to complain if I come late or drunk.
I tap the shot glass on the bar, and the barman nods at me before grabbing the bottle. I look behind me and see the strobe lights sweeping over the dancefloor. The rambunctious crowd throws their hands in the air as the DJ greets them.
Ugh, what the hell are they so happy about? I guess not everyone is in the slumps like me. Some people actually have a life.
To my left, a young couple makes out. They could’ve met tonight, for all I know. They look like they’re enjoying each other’s company. That’s nice. I’m happy for them. As difficult as it is for me to admit to myself, I’m jealous of them. Why couldn’t I have that?
Being single sucks. I’ve got nobody to talk to, and who knows when I’m going to find someone? A better question is, will it ever happen again? As much as I hate being single, I’m not sure I’m ready to dive into another relationship after what happened.
More tequila slithers down my throat. I grimace as I bite into the lemon. Drinking this stuff is more pain than pleasure. But the feeling isn’t worse than my heartache.
A few hot ladies walk past me. I check out their asses and wonder how it would feel to give it to them just for one night. We don’t have to talk or go out to dinner. Just straight to the bedroom so I can vent my frustration and then go home.
There would be no drama, heartache or humiliation. Everybody gets to have no-strings-attached fun. Why can’t the world function like that?
I see a woman sitting by herself at a high table. She must be late 40s, maybe early 50s, but she looks damn good. Her silk blouse is unbuttoned to reveal her big breasts, and her tight skirt accentuates her muscular legs.
She takes a drag of her cigarette and looks at me. She holds eye contact for a bit longer than usual before dabbing the cigarette into the ashtray. She looks at me again.
Usually, I’d be terrified to approach a woman I don’t know, but her gaze is magnetic. It’s pulling me in, and I can’t help myself. Maybe it’s the alcohol that’s given me some courage. My heart is beating faster and adrenaline pumps through my body. Subconsciously, my body is telling me that I’ve got a chance of banging her.
Jeez, I can’t remember the last time I felt so drawn towards a woman. I mean, I can’t see myself being with her because of the age gap, but she’s so damn sexy.
Oh, God. She’s still looking at me. She wants me to come over. I can just tell. I gulp and then take the first step. I want to go back to the bar, but it’s too late. I’m gonna look like the biggest wussy in the world if I turn back.
“Hi,” I say, smiling nervously. She looks at me without saying anything. “I saw you over here and thought I’d come and say, hi.”
“Why?”
The look on her face shows that she’s a no-nonsense-get-to-the-point type of woman. I like that.
“You’re sexy.”
She cracks a smile. I feel relieved and smile.
“Thank you,” she says.
“Here by yourself? No husband tonight?”
“I’m divorced.”
“I see.”
“How about you?”
“Single as of recently.”
“Did you break some young woman’s heart?” she asks cheekily.
“Actually, no. She broke my heart. She called off our wedding the day before.”
“Oh. Sorry about that.”
“I guess, it’s better that she did it then and not once we were married.”
“That’s a positive way of looking at it.”
“What brings you out here tonight by yourself?” I ask.
“I got tired of being at home always. All my friends are with their families, so I had no other choice.”
“I’m glad you came out. If you hadn’t, I wouldn’t have had the pleasure of meeting you.”
She smiles and extends her arm. “I’m Lisa. Nice to meet you.”
“I’m Tyler. Nice to meet you, Lisa.”
For the next 20 to 30 minutes, we talked about our professions and her ex-husband. He cheated on her, and she couldn’t forgive him. Lisa asked me the reason Bronwyn called off our wedding, and I told her that she said I was too needy.
I’m an affectionate person, and when I fall in love, I’m all in. I want to spend all my free time with that person because she means so much to me. I used to kiss Bronwyn all the time. Sometimes, she would get annoyed with me and she said that I was invading her personal space too much. I didn’t know that applied to the person you love.
I wanted to be with Bronwyn in every way possible. What was so wrong with that?
On a few occasions, my eyes drifted to Lisa’s chest. Her tits looked delicious. She was tanned, and her breasts were full and firm. I’m sure she caught me ogling them, but I didn’t care. I was hard the entire time I spoke to her. Something about her energy, the look in her eyes and soft voice made me feel free to express myself, even non-verbally.
I asked her to dance, and she accepted. She put her arms around my neck and mine were on her lower back. Her big breasts rested on my chest, making me even harder. I so badly wanted to slide my hands down and grab her ass.
I’m certain that she can see the lust in my eyes. I didn’t think that I would be so turned on by a woman this soon after my whole life turned upside down.
Lisa’s face was covered with wrinkles. It made her look old, but her body and energy turned me on. She treated me with respect and that was far more important than a few lines on her face.
Throughout the whole song, we kept looking at each other. I got the feeling that she wanted me to make a move. Or maybe that was my dick talking.
I leaned in, and she kept looking at me. That gave me hope. If she had looked away, I would’ve known that she wasn’t interested in kissing me.
As my lips reached hers, she closed her eyes. I pressed my lips against hers and then slid my mouth inside hers. She had thin lips, which I don’t enjoy, but I grabbed her tight ass. It felt amazing. Her strict workout regimen was evident. I so badly wanted to lower my lips to her chest, rip her blouse open and suck her delicious tits until she had no more milk in them.
Our lips parted, and we looked at each other, smiling. I was certain that she wanted me to make the next move. I grabbed her hand and then escorted her out of the club.
She arrived at the club with a taxi, so I opened the passenger door of my car and helped her inside. Lisa felt more comfortable at her place, so I took her there.
We didn’t say a word to each other during the drive and not even when we went inside her place. My heart bashed against my chest, and my dick wanted to rip out of my pants and be set free.
Standing in the lounge, we looked at each other. I grabbed her waist and pulled her towards me. It was a wet makeout, our tongues licking each other profusely and our saliva swapping constantly.
I grabbed her hand and escorted her down the corridor. I wasn’t sure what bedroom was hers, so Lisa stood beside me and then led me to the room at the end.
She drew the curtains and then walked towards me. I unbuttoned her blouse and then pulled it off. Her big tits bulged out of the white bra. My bottom lip hung as I stared at those magnificent melons.
I unclipped her bra and pulled it off her shoulders. I grabbed her left tit and caressed it while sucking the right one. Her nipples tasted so good. I switched to the other nipple and sucked it, then licked her breast.
She grabbed my dick over my pants. I quickly unfastened my belt and then pulled down my pants. Lisa got on her knees and pulled down my jocks. She stroked my dick a few times and then put it in her mouth.
I raised my chin and closed my eyes. That was exactly what I needed. It felt so damn good. It’s like she sucked the agony out of me. I was also glad that she fiddled with my balls. When she gently squeezed them, I grimaced. She smiled, realising that I was close to busting.
I unzipped her skirt, which slid right off her. She stepped out of it, and I admired her muscular legs. Her ass was unbelievably tight for someone her age. Lisa had a better body than most twenty-something-year-old women.
She got onto the bed on her hands and knees. I stood in front of the bed and caressed her ass, spreading her cheeks and looking at her pussy. I slid my dick over the crack of her ass a few times and then stuck it into her pussy.
My hand ran down her muscular leg as I thrust. I don’t know what got over me, but I managed to bust within two minutes. Luckily, I remained hard. How could I not when she was so hot?
I grabbed her waist and thrust fast. She enjoyed that, so I kept up that pace for a few minutes. Several times, I thought that I would bust again, but I managed to contain it.
Lisa screamed a few times, boosting my confidence. I kept banging her hard, spanking her ass a few times and also pulling her hair. She loved that. I saw that she was a naughty girl.
A few minutes later, she lay on her back, and I got on top of her. Being close to her like that felt amazing. She ran her hands over my back and even squeezed my ass a few times while I thrust in missionary. I kissed her neck and motorboated my face in her chest. She enjoyed that. Oh, man. Those tits were amazing.
Lisa raked her fingers through the back of my head and raised her legs straight up and then hooked them onto the back of my legs. The intimacy felt amazing. It was like being with Bronwyn again. My entire body relaxed, and I let all the jubilance flow out of me.
I lay on top of her for a few minutes and then kissed her neck, shoulders and tits. The intimacy felt more like love than sex.
We had another round before we fell asleep.
In the morning, Lisa told me that she had to leave early for work. I thought that we would have another round, but she seemed to be in a rush.
I called her later that day, but she didn’t answer. She sent me a message at night to tell me that she had a busy day.
The day after, I called again. She answered but sounded like she wanted to make the chat brief. I figured that I should give her space until the weekend.
On Saturday, I called. “Hey, how was your week?” I asked.
“Busy. I had so much to do.”
“Okay. You probably need to relax and let your hair down.”
“I do. I’m exhausted.”
“I think we should have dinner. We can chat, have a good time and take it from there.”
Lisa remained silent for a few seconds and then said, “I don’t think it’s a good idea.”
“Why not?”
“Tyler, you’re a really nice guy, but I’m not for you. We had a great night, but you’re on the rebound and I’m significantly older than you. It’s not like you’re ever going to take me seriously.”
“You don’t know that. Maybe you’re exactly what I need. You’re a great person, and I enjoy your company.”
“You’re rushing into something new to forget the past. I told you that I’ve practised psychology for the last twenty-five years, and I can see that you lack affection. That’s the reason you’re affectionate. You yearn for someone to reciprocate your feelings. And that’s fine, but you need to address the problem at the root. Only you know what that is. I’ve got an idea what it is, but you don’t need me to tell you. I wish you all the best. Bye.”
I put the phone down and felt empty. It felt like I was riding the biggest wave ever and then got pulled off my board and crashed. Unbelievable.
It’s like I can’t catch a break. Or maybe I did. Maybe Lisa is right. I’ve been holding onto the grudge for many years. I think it’s time to let it go.
I got into the car and drove to a place I hadn’t visited in some time. Standing in front of Mom’s house, I contemplated not going inside. We spoke on the phone every few weeks, but I hadn’t visited her in over a year.
I knocked on the door. Mom’s eyes widened and so did her lips. “Tyler,” she said before throwing her arms around me.
I held her and forgave her without verbalising it. Mom barely ever showed any affection to me when I was growing up. My older sister and brother always got her attention. I guess, because I was the last born, Mom had exhausted all of her affection for my siblings.
It ate me up inside for many years. I felt isolated, unloved and worthless. I never told that to Mom because I love her, but I built up a tremendous amount of resentment towards her throughout the years. Perhaps, I should’ve said something.
Letting go off that resentment and anger felt liberating. I gave myself a chance to love Mom unconditionally and freed myself from bringing trauma into relationships.
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